Mazoku's Secret
by Annie-chan
Summary: Xellos lets Zelgadis in on a little known secret. XxZ shounen ai.


**Author's Notes:**  My first _Slayers_ yaoi/shônen ai fic.  It's XxZ, just so you know.  It's not like I don't like this pairing, but I tend to ditch it in favor of something like XxV, or something like that.  Nevertheless, here's my attempt at an XxZ pairing.  I'm doing it mostly as a return favor to Kira Douji.  She sent me the script of Legato's death scene twice for my rewrite of _Human Emotions_ (I accidentally deleted it the first time she sent it _), and this is what I said I'd do for her in return for resending it to me.  Not that I'm not going to like writing this, but I just thought I'd let you all know the circumstances in which I'm writing it, in case any of you are interested.

_Slayers_ does not belong to me, but to Kanzaka Hajime, Araizumi Rui, Kadokawa Shoten, TV Tokyo, SOFTX, Marubeni, Enoki Films USA, ADV Films, and anyone else holding copyrights to it.

Mazoku's Secret By Annie-chan 

_Gee, where have I seen _this_ before?_ Xellos thought, amused at what he was witnessing.

Zelgadis was in a snit again.  He had lately been in one of his periods of depression, and he had just recently stormed out of the city of Seyruun and into the surrounding forest for no apparent reason.  Xellos, always the one to make people as angry at him as possible—while still managing to walk away relatively unharmed—had followed him.  The chimera hadn't noticed him yet, but Xellos knew he soon would.  After all, Zelgadis was pacing up and down the clearing his was in, and Xellos wasn't really all that hidden by the trees.

_Let's just see how long he takes to see me_, the mazoku priest thought, leaning up against a tree and folding his arms.  _I wonder how he'll react?  Angry?  Surprised?  A little of both?_  He grinned as he remembered all the times he had snuck up on Lina-tachi in the most unexpected times, and Zelgadis' reaction had always been, "When did _you_ get here?!"  Zelgadis really didn't like being taken by surprise.

As he thought this, he realized that Zelgadis had stopped pacing, and now stood with his back half turned to Xellos.  The shaman stared up at the moon, which was full and bright that night.  It was almost as light as day tonight.

Xellos' sharp hearing picked up a soft sigh.  He stood perfectly still, so as not to betray his presence.

"It was a night just like this," he heard Zelgadis say to nobody in particular.  "Six years ago…gods, I was so stupid to not be weary of him.  I _knew_ something was awry with him."  His hands clenched into fists.  "Being only fourteen at the time is no excuse."

Xellos watched, interested, as Zelgadis knelt down, his head bowed, as if in prayer.

"Rezo…Grandfather," Zelgadis murmured, as if speaking to the Red Priest's spirit.  "I…I know you weren't entirely at fault.  That damned Ruby-Eye was inside you, manipulating you, but…I…gods, I wish I could forgive you!"

Xellos continued watching, almost stunned.  He knew, just by looking into his eyes, that Zelgadis held immense grief locked up inside of him.  That intense, slightly haunted gaze had made it obvious.  The mazoku just never expected to witness that grief released like this.  He knew that Zelgadis wouldn't have dared to do this if he knew Xellos was there.

"I-I've tried…many, many times," Zelgadis continued, "to stop blaming you.  But…to be cursed like this by family, whatever the cause, it's just…it's just too much."  He was obviously holding back tears, as he had done for years.  "I respected you so much.  I never wanted that respect to turn into hate like it did.  I don't hate you anymore, but…I need some way to forgive you.  Part of me wants more than anything to, but another part of me…just refuses to.  It holds you and you alone responsible, and won't let me…forgive and forget, I guess I could say."  He looked up to the moon.  "Show me a way…onegai?"

Xellos' eyes opened wide.  To his shock, he saw a single tear slip from the chimera's deep-blue left eye and slide down his cheek.  _This is getting interesting_, he thought.  _Maybe I should make a deliberate entrance._  He waited a few heartbeats more, then walked into the clearing.  "Konban wa, Zel-kun!  Lovely night, isn't it?"

Zelgadis jumped almost a mile.  He shot to his feet and whirled around.  When he saw just who had scared him, his expression immediately turned from surprised to furious, murder shining in his eyes.  He brought a hand up to his left cheek and swiped the tear away.  "Xellos!  What in all nine hells are you doing out here?!"

Xellos just grinned that annoying little grin of his.  "What _exactly_ am I doing out here?"

"Hai!"

"Talking to you, of course," Xellos replied.  "I thought that was obvious."

"Iya!" Zelgadis growled, clearly annoyed.  "I mean, why are you in this clearing?!  Have you been spying on me?!"

"…A little," Xellos admitted.

Zelgadis' eyes widened, then narrowed.  "Just how much did you see and hear?!" he hissed through his sharp mazoku teeth.

Xellos pretended to think for a moment.  His face suddenly lit up, and he opened one eye.  "Sore wa himitsu desu!" he grinned.  He almost laughed at the look of rage that passed over Zelgadis' face.  "Really, Zel-kun, I would think you would know by now that I don't give straight answers to questions like that!  It's so much more fun to let people wonder!"

"Damn you, Namagomi!" Zelgadis fumed, turning away.

Xellos twitched.  "Don't call me that," he said, his smile now forced.  "I don't want any reminders right now about that little ryuzoku twit."

"Fine, then." Zelgadis said, looking over his shoulder.  "Just don't call me 'Zel-kun.'  You're really being too familiar with me calling me that."

"Fair enough," Xellos shrugged, making Zelgadis turn back around, looking a little confused.

"You're going to agree, just like that?" he asked, sounding suspicious.

"Hai," Xellos agreed.  "I like being difficult, as you already know quite well, but I sometimes give a little leeway.  You seemed a little upset tonight."

"Just what do you care?" Zelgadis demanded, the anger returning to his eyes.  "I would think you'd enjoy all the negative emotions I was giving off."

"Oh!  Of course I do!  You're giving off plenty of negative emotions, still!"

"Then, why the fake concern?"

To the young shaman's surprise, Xellos opened his eyes.  The priest's smile became more serious, and most of the infuriating mirth was gone from his composure.  "Well…I think a straight answer may confuse you, so I'll let you in on a little secret first."

"You?!" Zelgadis yelped, clearly surprised.  "You?!  Xellos, the Trickster Priest?!  Xellos, the Keeper of Secrets?!  _You_ want to let me in on a secret?!"  His expression quickly changed, taking on a guarded look.  "What's the price?"

"We'll get to that later," Xellos replied calmly.  "Don't worry.  It's not much.  Do you accept?"

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?" Zelgadis said, after a minute.  He really didn't like the sound of this, but he was dying to know what secret Xellos could possibly want to share with anybody—especially him, who seemed to hate Xellos most out of their little group.

"Good," Xellos said, seeming satisfied.  He turned his gaze to the moon.  "You know the whole story about mazoku and shinzoku, right?" he began.  "How mazoku are all bad and shinzoku are all good, right?"

"Hai," Zelgadis said.  "It's not that simple, though, is it?  We've seen shinzoku, especially ryuzoku, do some terrible things."

"Right," Xellos confirmed.  "You've also heard that mazoku are totally unable to feel any positive emotion?  That we are unable to form true friendships, and much less, love anyone?"

"Hai," Zelgadis said, confused as to where this was leading.

"Do you find anything odd about that?"

The chimera thought a minute.  "Uh…not really.  Should I?"

Xellos sighed.  "Figures.  I thought someone as intelligent as you would be able to figure it out."  He looked at Zelgadis.  "I really do respect your intelligence, Zelgadis.  You're so far above the normal human."

Zelgadis blinked.  Did Xellos just give him a complement?  "Ano…arigatô," he said finally.  "So, um…where are you taking this?"

Xellos returned his gaze to the moon.  "Well, if we mazoku couldn't feel love, don't you think that shinzoku, our exact opposites in every way, shape, and form, would be totally unable to feel hate?"

"Hai," Zelgadis said, realization beginning to dawn.

"The thing is, they can feel hate.  They hate us mazoku more than anything in the world, and it's the same on all the Four World Planes.  And, hate is supposed to be our domain."  He turned to Zelgadis, his amethyst eyes burning into the chimera's sapphire eyes.  "We can love.  Just like shinzoku, mazoku can feel extreme love as well as extreme hate.  It's impossible for one to exist within any individual creature without the other to counterbalance it.  If we couldn't feel love, mazoku wouldn't know what it was like to hate, because we would have nothing to compare it with.  The same thing goes for shinzoku.  If they couldn't feel hate, they wouldn't feel love, for lack of comparison.  Without both, total apathy takes over, and mazoku and shinzoku alike would be unable to play their roles in the world."

Zelgadis stared, stunned.  Xellos had never revealed anything like this before.  The look in the mazoku's intense violet eyes told Zelgadis that everything he had said was the naked, painful truth.  It was like Xellos had just bared his soul to him.  "Xellos…why are you telling me this?"

"Ah," Xellos said, the smirk returning to his face, "that's where your payment comes in."  There was something about his smirk that wasn't so subtly vicious like it was before.  His eyes remained open.

"Nani?" Zelgadis said, getting a little nervous.  He backed up a step as the priest began to advance on him.

"Just hold still," Xellos answered, now right in front of him.  He took hold of the smaller man's shoulders and looked directly into his eyes.  "For once, I am deadly serious."  Zelgadis had no time to react in any way before he found his lips pressed together with those of the mazoku priest now gripping his shoulders.

His eyes widened considerably.  _L-sama!_ he thought, surprised.  _Xellos is…kissing me!_

Xellos drew back.  "Do you understand why I just told you what I told you?"

"Ha-hai," Zelgadis stammered.  "I think…I think you're saying that…you love me."

"Hai," Xellos agreed.  "That's exactly what I'm saying."

"L-sama!" Zelgadis said, this time aloud.  "I never expected this!"  He was showing a great deal of…something.  Xellos couldn't pinpoint what it was.  To put it shortly, Zelgadis rarely acted like this in front of others.

"Are you upset by it?" the mazoku asked.

"Well…not really, no," Zelgadis admitted.  "I'm just surprised.  To tell the truth…I…"  The young shaman averted his eyes, a common human action.  No matter what his body was composed of, his mind and manner was still completely human.  "I've…had feelings for you, too."

Xellos nodded slightly.  "I thought so.  I sensed that the anger you usually direct at me was just a front, and that you truly felt something completely different.  The thing was, that you hid your emotions so well, that even I couldn't tell exactly what they were.  I've never met someone as good at that as you."

"I guess so," Zelgadis said.  "The reason I never told you is—"

"You thought I wouldn't—couldn't—feel the same, right?"  Zelgadis nodded.  Xellos sighed.  "I thought so.  Are you willing to tell me now, now that you know that I do?"

Zelgadis hesitated a moment.  Xellos had really shown a different side of himself tonight.  He looked up into the amethyst cat's eyes.  "A…ai shiteru yo, Xellos."  A thrill of amazement and happiness swept through him when he saw Xellos smile the first genuine smile—not a smirk—that he had ever seen on the mazoku.

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear."  He took hold of Zelgadis again, pulling him in for another kiss, the chimera cooperating fully this time.

"ACK!"

"EEK!"

"Uh…whoa."

Xellos and Zelgadis immediately separated, their heads whipping around as one toward the source of the exclamations.  There stood Lina, Amelia, and Gourry, getting an unobstructed view of the scene before them.  Lina and Amelia looked shocked, while Gourry just looked lost.

"You guys!" Zelgadis exclaimed.  "H-how long have you been there?!"

"We just got here," Gourry said, apparently the only one still able to speak at the moment.  "All we saw was you two kissing."  Zelgadis looked infinitely relieved.  Xellos just stood there, looking amused, as always.

Amelia shook herself out of her amazement and stepped forward, perhaps a little hesitant, and held an envelope out to each Zelgadis and Xellos.  "Ano…Zelgadis-san?  Xellos-san?  Can you take a look at these and give me an answer sometime soon?"  She didn't wait for a response, turning quickly around and skittling back into the forest toward the city.  Gourry soon followed, carrying a still dumbstruck Lina under his arm.

Zelgadis looked at the envelope in his hands.  _This looks like an…invitation._

"Well, what do you know?" Xellos said, having already opened his.  "It's a wedding announcement!  I guess Amelia-chan and Zaraan-san finally set a date, ne?"

"Nani?!" Zelgadis exclaimed, tearing his open.  The mazoku was right.  In his hand lay an invitation to the wedding of Princess Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun to Zaraan de Moukeau, a young nobleman from Seyruun's upper class.  The date was in exactly two months.  "Wow.  I thought they were going to get married someday, but to have it actually happening is a bit of a surprise."

"Be happy for them," Xellos said.  "Amelia-chan's eighteen, and she's the Princess of Seyruun.  It's half expected of her to be married around now."

"Yeah," Zelgadis agreed.

"Anyway," Xellos said, putting the invitation away into that ever-present satchel, "we better get going."

"Uh…go where?" Zelgadis asked, sounding confused.

"Well, isn't it a human custom to meet your boyfriend's or girlfriend's parents?" Xellos asked, grabbing Zelgadis' hands.  "I need to take you to meet my mother!"

"Your mother?!" Zelgadis yelped.  "The Beastmaster?!"

"Hai!" Xellos crowed.  They disappeared.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Beastmaster Xellas Metallium, Xellos' mother and mistress, sat in her library on Wolf Pack Island.  In front of her was a large, dusty book, open for the first time in perhaps centuries.  She was reading some little-known things about shinzoku, looking for something she could take advantage of.

"Hello, Xellos," she said, not even moving as she got the unmistakable feel of her son materializing behind her.  "Who is that with you?"

"Zelgadis Graywords, Okâsama," Xellos answered.

The Beastmaster turned around.  "Ah, the chimera boy that always follows Lina Inverse around."  Her mazoku eyes gazed directly into Zelgadis'.  She could feel a mixture of fear, apprehension, and uneasiness in this young man.  "Why have you brought him here?"

"To tell the truth, Okâsama," Xellos began, "I brought him here to tell you that he and I have confessed to loving each other."

Xellas' eyes narrowed.  It wasn't often a mazoku, especially a high-level mazoku, fell in love with a human.  Chimera or not, this young man standing slightly behind her son was still a human.  Her cold eyes scrutinized every inch of Zelgadis.  "You love my son?"

"Yes, My Lady," Zelgadis answered, making a slight bow.  His fear had gone down a bit, but was still there all the same.

"And, he loves you back?"

"Yes, My Lady," Zelgadis repeated.  "He was the one who spoke first, actually."

"Hm," Xellas said.  After a minute, she turned back around.  "Fine, then.  I won't interfere, unless it gets in the way of your duties, Xellos."

Xellos bowed respectfully.  "Yes, Okâsama.  Arigatô gozaimasu."

"Now, go on.  I'm busy."

"Hai," Xellos said, taking Zelgadis' hand again and fazing out.  They reappeared outside.

"Uh…where are we now?" Zelgadis asked.

"Well, I might as well show you around the place," Xellos answered, his normal grin back on his face.  "The best place to start a tour is at the front door."

Zelgadis looked hard.  He didn't see any front door.  "It's…sure hidden well."

"Of course it is, you goose!" Xellos said, almost laughing.  "Okâsama doesn't want just anyone to find the place, much less waltz right in if they do come around here."

"I guess not," Zelgadis allowed.

"Come on!" Xellos smiled, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the hidden entrance.  "I think you'll love the interior architecture!"

Zelgadis sighed, but couldn't keep a smile from crossing his face as he let himself be pulled along.  _Bombs away_, he thought.  There was no way he was going to let this chance at happiness slip through his fingers.

Owari 

**Author's Notes:**  There you have it.  My first Xell-Zel yaoi/shônen ai.  How do you all like it?  I didn't end it too abruptly, did I?  I think it came out better than I expected.  I was getting kind of tired of all the XxZ angst-fests (although, I did stick some angst in there near the beginning, because Kira-chan wanted me to), so I decided to do an overall happy fic.  And, as for Amelia being engaged to someone (I totally made Zaraan up):  I was also getting tired of the Amelia-devastated-because-Zelgadis-doesn't-love-her fics, and I wanted to give her a break.  Besides, I'm a total romantic sap—as some of you probably already know—and I can't stand leaving characters alone like that unless that's the central idea of the fic.  Oh, and a note of Zaraan's last name:  say it with a French accent, pronouncing it "Mu-ko."  Anyway, let me know what you think either in a review or at mangareader@hotmail.com, onegai shimasu!


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